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Well, after returning from Portugal and having found I'd put on rather more weight than I'd expected, I finally decided to join a gym through the company I work for.
I wasn't really sure what to expect - although I've been to one or two cheap and cheerful places in the past, this one seemed significantly posher than anything I'd hitherto encountered.
And so it turned out to be: superb air conditioning (far better than the sorry excuse we have at the office!), state-of-the-art equipment (and loads of it!), superb facilities (including swimming pool, jacuzzi and sauna!), and to top it off, it's all set in oak and marble opulance.
Being shown around, it was really rather intimidating -- even considering the comparitive lack of adonis-like demigods that usually populate places like these (or at least, so I had assumed).
No, all body shapes and sizes were in full attendance, including now, mine.
Baring in mind (fnar) I've not been in a changing room since I stopped doing PE at school about 14 years ago, I'm not sure why the open-plan layout came as such a shock -- cue the comedy moment where I'm desperately trying to avoid eye-to-todger contact and failing miserably -- but body shyness has always been a bit of an issue for me (heh, well considering my other hobby ;-) ) and so the idea of changing in an open-plan area filled me, frankly, with alarm.
Still, I forced myself, kept my gaze firmly in the mid-distance, pretended I was the only one there and bloomin' well got on with it.
Given that backdrop, you can now truly appreciate my relief when I discovered that the showers had separate cubicals and were not communal. My whoop of delight probably didn't do me any favours in attracting undue attention, however. :-)
Fortunately, that particular discovery only came after I'd finished my exercise session.
So, it was all seriously overwhelming. Many of the exercise machines are networked, have their own little radio/channel surfing controls you can plug your headphones into, and come with a 36 page manual. After you've entered your weight, age, favourite colour, spice girl (so the machines can't be that new), pet's name, inside leg measurement, glans circumference, lob rate, and favoured exercise program (each with a cryptic and not particularly descriptive name), you've barely time for a decent workout.
But I perservered, and I think I got away with it. I steered clear of all the machines where I couldn't work out where to sit, or what to do if I even worked out that much.
Tomorrow marks a watershed though: I'm actually meeting with a "personal trainer" to work out a "programme" or somesuch. And hopefully, they'll show me how to use the scary machines I've been avoiding so that I (a) don't do myself a mischief, nor (b) make a complete prat of myself as I try to exercise my deltoids with my legs.
To be honest though, I love it. I've been leaving an hour early in the mornings just so that I can get in a workout before I'm due in the office. It's a revelation. Even my inadvertant eye-to-todger ratio has dropped to practically zero. :-)
I'm not sure when the novelty will wear off, but crivens: I'm enjoying it whilst it lasts.